You're not wearing that dress, are you?

"I don't know, but it appears that I already am," I replied, still stunned by a question I haven't heard asked of me in 30 years! Last month while I was shopping for drum accessories for my grandson's birthday, I discovered this ultracute dress and thought it would be perfect to wear when going to see my favorite local band, Therapy Barn. It was on sale for $20 so I figured it was just a hanging out or beach dress and I could get plenty of use out of it so in addition to a Drumsticks necklace, a Drummer's shirt and Glow-in-the-dark Drumsticks, I bought this as well. Finally the guys were playing locally so I decided to wear my new frock, however when I emerged from my dressing room, I asked in a silly breathy voice, "Do you want to play me? and Mr Kulp, who stood about 15 ft away, sputtered, "You're not wearing that dress, are you?" Wait, what? Clearly I am wearing the dress as I felt as ready to go as I could possibly be, but now I'm concerned. Why am I not wearing the dress so I started asking questions, "Why? Is the dress to short?" No was the reply. "Can you see through it? Is it low cut? Do I look lumpy?" No and no. Then what's wrong with the dress I asked in frustration. I knew it looked fine and fit well. It certainly wasn't too low or too short or too tight. He kept staring at me and finally said, "That's a dress and we're going to a dive bar!" And suddenly the look on his face said it all. I remember that look from long ago. He thought I looked great and didn't want other guys looking at me! I hadn't seen that jealousy in 30 years, and it made me laugh. So I had to talk him down: it's not a dive bar and this isn't a dress. In fact it's pretty much a rag. A dress is what I wore to the Semi-Formal Sweet Sixteen party we attended 2 weeks ago. This is something I can wear to the beach and let me assure you, other women will be wearing dresses too because they are comfortable. Now let's stop this nonsense and go. And so we did. As we walked up the path to the door, 3 girls were sitting outside at the benches, 2 of whom were wearing dresses, which of course I pointed out. When my sister arrived looking gorgeous in an off-the-shoulder ruffled blouse and form-fitting long shorts that hugged her still attractive ass, I pointed out, "Look, she's dressed like a slut too," which left her wondering what I was babbling about now. The 4 of us had a good laugh over the dress incident, but even 3 days later I am still in awe of what transpired, and grateful for this second shot at life.